‘I crept quietly out of the back door of the college and across the concrete patio towards the rear of the embassy. I looked ahead of me at Robert as he began to insert detonators into the explosives and place them on the back door, then I looked up. Above me, four men began to descend slowly from the roof on their abseil ropes. Behind me Big Bob was wielding an eight-pound sledgehammer as a back-up should it be needed to get through the door.
I gripped my MP-5 in both hands and thumbed the safety catch, assuring myself once again that it was off. The only sounds I could hear were the static hissing in my earpiece and the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. My greatest fear now was of making a mistake that might endanger a life, especially mine. My mind raced. Watch the windows, Robin. What do I do if someone looks out now? Don't rush. Is my pistol still in my holster? Where is my partner?
The police dogs, which were being held back just inside the doors of the college, began to feel the tension in their handlers and started barking and howling. Why don't you shut the bastard dogs up, I thought. The fear that had for so long been my greatest enemy welled up inside me like a balloon, waiting to escape from my throat. Hello, I thought. I'm glad you're here. Without you I wouldn't be functioning at my best. I need to be scared to be alert.
The smallest sounds were magnified, and time seemed to slow down.
Around me team members moved into position calmly and without undue haste. Only seven years earlier I had been a frightened young man on the brink of adventure, bullied and scared. Now I was walking forward into a firefight, the fear under control, my commitment to the task complete in the knowledge that I was ready, that I was the best man for the job.